After months of waiting, I received my teaching certification in the mail yesterday. Almost immediately, after the initial satisfaction of receiving what can only be called the most-expensive-piece-of-paper-ever, feelings of concern set in. There is so much pressure attached to this one piece of endorsement. Pressure to make my education count. Pressure to follow through on what I have openly claimed to be the will of God for my life. Pressure to be successful.
So, for now, I worry. I worry for the possible failure that searching for a new career could bring. I worry for the possible success that searching for a new career could bring. I worry for my personal feelings of achievement and what another “closed-door” would mean to my calling. I worry that I misunderstood God’s intentions for my vocational life. Most of all, I worry about the additional time of waiting that any denial will inevitably mean.
“…do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.” – NIV
It is so easy to be instructed not to worry, a little less simple when one actually attempts to block this emotion. We know that God is faithful. We know that God is in control. More often than not, in our worry, it is not about God’s ability: Worry is about His time. How long do we have to wait on something that we thought was coming yesterday? How long do we have to wait to be ready? If this period of waiting is just God’s way of training us for His glory, how long does this last?
I suppose, in our worry, we should just remember: God would not spend so much time training those He did not plan to use in amazing ways.