When I first became a Christian, I was filled with nothing but urgency. I felt such a pressing need to know everything about Him, right away. In my innocence, I began to seek out those who could “educate me” on pleasing my Lord.
Out of this haste, I came to be part of a certain mega-church. Somehow, I managed to entangle myself with the spiritual leaders of the church staff. Foolishly, I began to take them at only their words.
Eight weeks later, I did not recognize the life I was living. Door-to-door evangelism had become a Wednesday night event. Movies that I loved, songs that had meaning to me and things that made me smile – if they were not 100% “Christian” – they were, literally, thrown out of my life as trash. I was trained to tithe at every attended service, therefore, at times, I found myself financially unable to be present. Worst of all, the people in my life who were not believers, became expendable and dejected.
Since this time, I have spent much of my life placing blame on this church for providing me with such a negative experience of Christianity. I have taken no responsibility in the matter and forfeited all the guilt outside of my personal control.
“Then, if those who hear the alarm refuse to take action, it is their own fault if they die.” - NASB
I suppose that in my Bible studying, I overlooked the parts on accountability. I knew that I was uncomfortable with the direction my spiritual life was taking. I knew that the drastic steps at outward decontamination were not bringing me any closer to my Savior. I heard the alarms of apprehension. I knew many things…but did nothing.
Faith never means unawareness. God tells us to test the prophets, test what they say! Make sure that their words are in line with the teaching of Christ.
When I believed everything, I was just as far from the Lord as when I believed nothing.