All my adult life, I have been afraid. I don’t talk about it much because, frankly, it is embarrassing. In fact, the very thing that terrifies me, I wholeheartedly promote to others. Here I am: a seminary graduate, a walking Christian, a child of the Father…and terribly anxious about God’s plans for us.
The word “us” is not a typo. God’s plan for my loved ones is just as scary to me as my own. Recently, I saw His plan for my best friend and it was to take her. When God acted, my world stood still for months. Now, the need to avoid that familiar feeling only fuels my apprehension of God’s intentions for the rest of my family. Are His plans to take them also? Everyday I live in fear over the potential loss of my mother, father, brother and husband. Could my faith survive another one of God’s plans?
In our hearts, we truly know Jeremiah 29:11 –
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – NIV
How difficult it becomes to recognize the “prosperity” in suffering. Did Jeremiah see Christ on the cross? Often our minds cannot balance the harm of loss, with the supremacy of God’s plan. Time and again, the miracle of salvation veils itself in hurt. We must accept the cross as the pathway to peace, even when they are ours to bear.
There are many lovers of the King, few bearers of His cross.