I had a great friend that made a huge mistake. She was driven, courteous, responsible, and a great pleasure to be around. Then, it happened. She met a guy that possessed none of the same qualities as she did. He was immature, had no manners, drank all the time, and did not know the meaning of boundaries. As the relationship developed (over a few months), they became engaged.
I was troubled for her almost immediately. I saw the kind of man that she had chosen, and even more so, the kind of woman that she had become in his presence. Her drive was gone. Her ambitions changed to wedding preparations. Her focus became him instead of herself and no one in her life seemed to hold any significance anymore. Someone had to say something…didn’t they?
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak.” - NIV
I have never been a fan of confrontation. I would just assume avoid all arguments, at the expense of suffering the consequences. While, at first glance, it seems like this approach is intended to keep the peace, it is more aimed at evasion. In the case of my friend, however, I spoke up. I made it clear how I felt about her choices and her life path. As a result, I was removed from the wedding party and, ultimately, her life. We no longer speak.
Every day I wonder if I made the right decision. Was this the time to speak up or was this the time to be silent? Maybe I overstated my bounds; maybe I should have just trusted her judgment. Since that day, I continuously pray for wisdom in my timing. Perhaps part of being wise, is knowing what to overlook.