It has been about four months since this project started. Recently, I began to feel curious about my heart and if I have, in fact, made any steps forward. Immediately, I broke open my Bible and just began to read, trying so hard to blanket my eyes in unawareness. I tried to see the chapters as pure and holy, instead of sequential and diagnostic like before. I was, as it were, using the Word of God to test myself.
Specifically, I wanted to revisit certain passages that always struck me as peculiar. I tried to read the passages in 1 & 2 Samuel as historical yet, somehow, I still got trapped in the analytical. I wanted to feel the stories of faith so badly, and yet, that is still not what happened.
One test. One assessment in four months and I failed with flying colors. The bible still read like it was reading before: Purely Systematical. After all this time, after 123 postings, I have to wonder: Am I making no progress?
“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.” – KJV
When we open the Word of God, what are we hoping to gain? A stronger understanding of His love and sacrifice? Another passage to put in the vault of values? Or, are we using it for some egocentric purpose?
We all come to the Word of God with some sort of expectation, some “baggage”. In approaching the bible with particular incentives, I’m starting to wonder: Are our objectives all wrong?
Regardless of their origination or intention, one thing is certain…we all have expectations. Whether we mean to or not, when we open God’s Word, we are opening with a purpose. Some hope for wisdom while others read for peace. Some hunt for affirmation while others, conviction. Nevertheless, everyone is searching for something.
I’m starting to realize that even if the intentions are optimistic, nothing good comes from invisible restraints on our Lord.