Sunday, May 9, 2010

Oh Wise Ones


Proverbs 15:31
“If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.” - NLT

Yesterday, after speaking with my brother about my blog, I noticed something…something that had not been there before: Hostility. It was quite unsettling when you consider the fact that I was the one getting hostile!

Let me explain. To grasp how utterly absurd this reaction was, please note that he was not even being critical! My brother simply wondered when he was going to read my posting for the day since the morning had already passed and I had not yet posted anything. You would have thought that he verbally attacked me with the manner in which I responded.

For no reason at all, I instinctively felt the need to defend myself, and my blog. I said that I had plans to write that afternoon. Just because it wasn’t ready when he wanted it didn’t mean that it wasn’t coming. Who said I had to meet time requirements as well as completion ones?

After this conversation was over, and he was probably sitting there wondering what in the world he had said to set me off, I sat in my car…embarrassed. Since when did I not take constructive criticism? When did I become someone so quick to defend my actions?

The more that I sat and thought about it, the more that I realized what had happened: My brother…the poor, unsuspecting boy…had simply touched on my own insecurities and barely lived to tell about it. Just on the off chance that someone ever began to question my commitment to this project, I had a defense prepared that poor Tyler unknowingly unleashed. I was so afraid that someone would consider me slacking, I prepared myself early to rebuke any doubters.

Am I the only one who has these…these “sensitive sins”? Am I the only one who has such little confidence in the choices she is making, or the manner in which she is achieving her goals, that a simple non-confrontational question can turn into outlandish accusation? Am I the only one with doubt?

Sometimes, it takes a single statement to rearrange our entire lives. And maybe, if you are lucky, you will have someone like my brother speaking to you.

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