For the past couple weeks, I have just felt burdened. Those of you who know me have heard me discuss this blog with more and more dissatisfaction as of late. I have tried to dance around this issue in my writings, but this morning, I am going to come clean.
When this project first began, it was all about God. Early in the morning, I would provide myself with enough time to speak with Him, listen to Him, read about Him and write about Him. Everyday I would sit in my little booth at Panera and beg for His presence, and every morning He arrived. It was obvious that He was blessing this effort and sustaining my pleasure in this project overall.
Today, however, here I sit: Alone. I no longer start my days with prayer, no time for that. I no longer spend time in His word, no time for that either. I grab my computer and rush through a blog posting without even exiting my car! I do not even take the time to walk into the local Panera. I sit in my car, outside the restaurant, and use them for their wireless service.
Each minute I spend in quiet time, is another minute later that I get to depart from my office in the afternoon. Each minute I spend in quiet time is another minute that traffic builds up in the afternoon. Each minute that I spend in quiet time is another minute that something else could have been done. There is no time to waste.
“Let nothing be wasted.” – NIV
Here is a troubling thought: This project was once bearing fruit. I was growing in my confidence that God would always show up. I was growing in my devotional abilities. I was growing in my prayer life. And, most importantly, I was growing in my relationship with my Lord. But now, there is no fruit to bear, only burdens. By turning this project from God to myself, I have let my crop wither and go to waste.
Now that my eyes have opened once again, may I always remember: Waste Not, Want Not.