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At work the other day, something kind of crazy happened. A friend of mine, who works on the other side of the building, had stopped by my cube for a little chat. I hadn’t seen this person in a while, mainly due to my laziness and the sheer distance that lied between his cubical and my own, but this visit was anything but pleasant.
He began to ask me of certain male employees, with whom I was once friends, that no longer work with us. He asked if I still saw them on a regular basis or met up with them after work hours. My first response was that I had not spoken or seen them since my wedding – which they attended. My reply may as well have been in Japanese since he looked as though he didn’t understand my words. I went on to say that, some of our old friends are married and that I didn’t think it was appropriate for a married woman and a married man to hang out together in isolation without their spouses. All I can say is…Big Mistake.
My “friend” proceeded to berate me for my unsociable ways and make no secret of his emotions. His voice was loud, his words direct and all I could really make out was: Married women are mean! He verbally attacked me for wanting to protect my marriage and even tried to pull others in on his warfare.
Luke 6:22
"Blessed are you when men hate you, and ostracize you, and insult you, and scorn your name as evil, for the sake of the Son of Man.” – NASB
I must admit, prior to being married and understanding firsthand what God intends for marriage, I could have been on this bandwagon of attackers. Without a sound biblical knowledge of what God expects for His marriages, I had much less respect for the entire institution. I, definitely, did not understand the social boundaries.
But, I am married now and this was not a covenant that my husband and I entered into lightly. We studied for weeks and weeks about marriage and how to have one that pleases the Lord. If boundaries are needed to ensure the safety of my covenant, so be it.
Take it from me, it can be quite uplifting when the world doesn’t understand your decisions.
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I don't understand, why can't a married man and a married woman hang out? If you trust your spouse to behave and respect one another, then, I think they should be allowed to hang out.
ReplyDeleteIt's just a matter of trust. Problem is, most people cannot trust their spouses and that is sad.
Tara I commend you for standing up for your marriage! My husband and I feel the same way. It's not that you "can't" hang out with other men or women - it is a matter of choosing to protect your marriage at all costs. We don't put ourselves in a situation that could ever become tempting in any way - out of respect and love for each other and our marriage. Thanks for sharing. ~Des
ReplyDeleteI agree with you daughter, it would be inappropriate for a married man and a married woman or a married spouse and a unmarried person of the opposite sex to socialize alone.
ReplyDeleteTemptation and how other people perceive this little outing would damage a marriage and the trust bond. Now if you were to socialize in a group of both sexes from work together, no problem. you Friend might need to understand the difference. You go Girl!!! The Lord I'm sure is smiling at this post.